A letter to Melina Costello from the Groundhog Chronicles
September 20, 2003
Dear Madame Me:
Reality is the death of me and I can't stand realism for long. I have taken your letters under consideration, and I'm afraid you have left me with the impression that literary Realism has become dog food because of the decadent reality that realists really represent because they live in the animal shelter. The hounds bark hysterically before meals and think they sing ever so beautifully.
Of course I do not speak of the reality of idealism but of the technological materialism that has turned writers into mechanical street-sweeper drivers. They resort to cumbersome formulas at public expense. The public thinks the street-sweepers are doing a lovely job, but once they have passed by, it becomes obvious to refined sophisticates that the dirt, trash and leaves have just been shuffled around to the sides of a broad wet streak in the gutter, thus the process is really a waste of time and money albeit only a few lucid people know it. Whereas the realists of old could not help making a mysterious romance out of reality while actually playing in the mud with humankind.
But I am no critic, Madame Me. I thank you for considering me as such even though I find critics personally revolting. However, I am a reviewer from time to time: I will be glad to give a friend's book a glowing review at Amazon. And I will honor your request for a critique of the brief excerpts you sent over from Alexander Theroux's book, limiting myself to same since they do not inspire me to look further.
After I received your first communication about this literary gift to the world, it occured to me that I lack critical criteria for critiques, that I have no standard for praise and blame except my own gut feelings, which depend on the frequency and quality of my meals. I had just eaten a good dinner, and I was not in a mood to do what so-called 'good' critics seem to do best, something that makes of the word, 'critic', a perjorative expression. Now most of the critics you just cited seemed to be flatterers, and therefore bad critics. I found myself in a quandry, and heartburn was setting in.
It suddenly struck me that I might avoid putting your author down or raising him up, and instead provide a criticism that might flatter me! I remembered Niccolo Tucci's paper, 'On Constructive Criticism' - it appeared in the November 1949 issue of Partisan Review. It so impressed me that I kept a copy. The best way, I thought, to provide you with the critique you want, would be to simply write a superlative paraphrase of the first paragraph you submitted to me - a better paragraph on the same subject!
I retrieved Niccolo's article for better guidance - from under the bathroom sink - it was behind the hardened can of Ajax and the cockroaches, and was still in relatively good shape although stained brown. I sat down on the toilet and read this:
"I wonder if the 'constructivists' have ever paused long enough to consider what would happen in the other fields of criticism if their principles were suddely accepted. For example, music. Now, when a serious musical critic dismisses as symphony as bad, and gives only the reasons why it does not hold together musically, that is rightly called 'criticism.'
"If the same musical critic announced the next day that he has composed a symphony of his own, that would be rightly referred to as a symphony of his own. But if upon presenting his own composition to the public, he said: 'This music here is a constructive criticism of the symphony criticised by me yesterday,' he would righly be sent to the unholiest places and criticized, not once but twice: first as a critic who does not keep his place; secondly as a composer who pretends to be exempt from criticism because, until yesterday, he was a critic too."
Niccolo proposed that art museums allow space for critics' paintings next to the paintings they criticize. That is a great idea! I thought, and should be applied to libraries. As it is, we have a few volumes of an author's work on the shelf, followed by volumes of praise and blame. Why not rid the shelves of praise and blame, in favor of volumes of constructive criticism? War and Peace, for example, will be followed by the critics' versions of the masterpiece!
Niccolo pointed out that 'Constructive criticism' was a relative new phenomenon, most popular in the U.S., for it was purportedly 'democratic.' In his opinion, so-called constructive criticism is an attempt to tone down genuine criticism. It is equivalent to a happy ending in the movies. And to demand that a critic, who criticises a work based on common sense, should be expert enough to do it better, is childishly arrogant and demonstrative of the prejudice that one must be a specialized to be qualified to know the difference between good and bad work. That concept is sheer nonsense and often dishonest - common-sense criticism is so embarassing to political leaders, for example, that they insist on diplomatic and military secrecy in the "interest of national (their own) security.".
Furthermore, the objection that negative as opposed to constructive criticism is destructive hence worthless is cry-baby talk. The negative critic has no duty except to except to negate, and has no obligation to come up with a workable solution.
"It's like advertising," Niccoli wrote, referring to the constructive criticism of the trains going to the death camps. "The world goes to the dogs, everything is dark, but we here at the factory have a new toothpaste that will brighten your smile."
He thinks that constructive criticism is not really democratic but is a despotic attempt at getting critics to show respect for the people and theories they criticize. It was borrowed from masters of that technique: Hitler and Mussolini. It was called "criticism within the system" because it was not "criticism of the system." It got to comic proportions in Italy. He gives this dialogue in Russia:
Critic: We, the Russian people do not want these chains.
Stalin: You are prefectly right. I will give you better ones.
Critic: We don't want better ones, we want none at all.
Stalin: You are a pessimist, a negativist, a destructive critic. You do not believe that I am here to help you. If you tell me your grievances concretely, I may help you, but if you insist on asking for the impossible, I will have to eliminate you.
Well, Madame Me, Niccolo Tucci certainly made some excellent points, and I was glad I reviewed them. Nevertheless, when I got off the throne, I knew that the best way to criticize the paragraph you sent over was to write a better one. And that I shall do as soon as possible. As you may have noticed, I have been quite busy lately because the world is going to the dogs and something must be done.
Yours,
Mr. Two Emmas
Madame Me is Melina Costello at:
http://authorsden.com/visit/author.asp?authorid=3336
Nothing is Perfect
December 13, 2004
Alessandro Ferretti
Managing Partner
ARTECITY
Wave Group Development
119 Washington Avenue #500
Miami Beach, Florida 33139
Re: Artecity Publicity
Dear Mr. Ferretti:
Aloha!
The fact that nothing is perfect inspires me to express my creative disatisfaction with the Artecity publicity which appears in the form of a brochure entitled 'inspired living', in small letters on blank white background, a rather uninspiring introduction to the folded presentation. The brochure is something to start with but needs work. Luigi Faciutto, one of my favorite dance masters, used to say of his original choreography in class: "This is something that came out naturally. It is our job as dancers to make it smell good."
If I were one of your dancers, I would, on the front cover of the brochure, inspire prospective buyers to inspired living with something more than two words: I would use something worth at least a thousand words. In fact, I would use only one word on the cover - Artecity - to brand the project artfully portrayed on that cover by a local aspiring artist, who would, I'm sure, greatly appreciate the commission. I see some sort of tasteful sketch of your Artecity. Since Florida represents bright sunshine and colors, perhaps the sketch could be filled in as if it were stained-glass.
As I approach Artecity, I would keep several differences in mind. There exists a marked difference between being "artistic" and being artfu. And there is a great divide between ephemeral clutter and timeless art: the former is wasted and discarded; the latter is forever saved and kept close to heart. Moreover, there are differences between meaningful creation and utter confusion; between talking "creativity" and being creative; and between mumbo-jumbo and grammar - not in the dead-letter technical sense of the term, but in the highest and most flexible sense, that grammar is the best expressions of a living language.
A fine artist does not try to be different just to be different, but wants to be truthful to the beauty of his project. That is, she strives for truth when making her differences. She does not flip flop around and jump up and down just to be different, as novices are wont to in order to gain an audience for a few moments. We might not recognize the ballerina's stock-in-trade tombe pas de bourree glissade grande jete, nor may we know precisely what she means by it, yet her art releases us from the gravity of existence, that we may experience the lightness of being.
A graceful real estate development sells itself to the discriminating eye, therefore we should clearly represent it lest we ruin our reputation at the outset with that discerning portion of the public who appreciate clarity in their transactions. If I were a creative developer, I would, with this project, dispose of the clutter and make way for Miami Beach Art District's cultural center for the art of urbane living. Yes, I would emphasize the artful urbanity of living such a life at Artecity. I would avoid using awkward phrases such as those now featured in the brochure; for instance: "artistic urbanism at the nexus of culture and true urbanism." For my Artecity would be unique, not merely another echo of an "ism", but a tasteful choice. After all is said and done, the best technique is not meant to be discerned by the general audience. Incidentally, my meticulously designed details would not be called "discerning design details."
Martha Graham had a discerning eye for many things, especially placement. She discerned, early on in her career, the need to place her choreography on the best available, most suitably located stages, hence she rose efficiently and effectively to the top of her profession. One of the five fundamental "brand pressure points" from which marketing tactics are derived is Place - the placement of the product. Wherefore I would not confuse my audience about the placement of Artecity. I would not use a graphic garbled by textual absurdities. I would not render my project on a large city block, from which paths of indeterminite lengths ensue to said locations: "Golf 2 drives north" "Botanical Gardens 2 banyans west" "New World Sympathy 3 strings south" "A walk on the beach at dawn 1 early morning east" and the like, the terms not being proportionate to a standard distance. Not that I mind the fact that the "artistic" distortion causes George Boole to spin rapidly in his grave, thinking that his book on logic has been lost even though he unwittingly created the logic of our computer system, but because I would not want to miss the opportunity to artfully yet clearly express the fact that Artecity is within walking distance if not a short drive from everything of cultural note.
I presume that the present Artecity brochure is a pre-sales brochure, hence I hope my constructive criticism of that brochure might be useful to you and your associates. If you care to praise or blame my own approach to whatever market might exist for me at the top Miami Beach society, where I would fain live in a nice condominium, I will deeply appreciate hearing from you. I am in a receptive mood lately, for I believe the real world and the art world suffers from too many thin skins.
Finally, I am grateful that nothing is perfect, for if the opposite were the case, I would have nothing to do.
Sincerely,
David Arthur Walters
Nothing is Impossible
December 13, 2004
Jeff Morr
Chief Executive Officer
MAJESTIC PROPERTIES
5046 Biscayne Boulevard
Miami, Florida 33137
Re: Artecity Sales
Dear Mr. Morr:
It was my great pleasure to visit your Artecity sales office last Saturday, where Realtor Associate Ana V. Austin greeted me and proved to be a gracious host, even though I interrupted her as she was in the middle of setting up the office. I confessed to Ana that I had my heart set on living in a South Pointe high-rise condominium, but I wanted to take a look at Artecity on the recommendation of Alessandro Ferretti's office.
I had visited the site in September when seeking temporary lodging, but I was unaware that it was the subject of the Artecity development. In all my vanity, I thought that I had discovered the run-down area, as a prime prospect for the development of artful urbane living. You see, I was the right-hand man for a German developer in my youth; he taught me to find out where things are going and to get there first, so I still have the habit of eyeballing the possibilities.
I questioned three people in the area back then but they did not know what was going on. The Conni Gordon Art School aroused my curiosity, as did the Park Avenue Plaza Hotel, with its charming little porch and cafe space; someone told me the hotel presently houses transients, and that 55-gallon barrels, contents unknown, were residing therein as well.
I thought the area would be a great place for the International Dance Center which I conceived while working with Japanese choreographer and teacher Keiko Fujii in Hawaii. Keiko had two studios in Japan at the time, and toured the world with her 'Superdancers' company - I enjoyed several of her company's performances in Manhattan after I left Hawaii. Dancers flew into Hawaii to study with Keiko while she was there; accomodations for them were expensive and were often spread out over several hotels; the studio and stages were also in different locations. Hence the idea of an International Dance Center, for all dance disciplines, where students, teachers, and choreographers could study under the best masters the world has to offer. The Center would, of course, provide accomodations on site or nearby.
But to return to Artecity: Ana was the very antithesis of the aggressive realtors I have met in the past. I felt that I was in charge. She was polite, answered all my questions, yet knew when to end the conversation, pending receipt of the "condo docs."
She gave me a blurred fact sheet and the Artecity pre-sales brochure. I sent Alessandro Ferretti certain expressions of creative disatisfaction with that brochure, gratis, in hopes he and/or his associates might like to sample whatever services that I am eager to provide.
There was only one flaw in Ana's courteous response to my barging in on her before the office was set up and the condo docs ready to go - perhaps the flaw was mine for not being aggressive. I expressed a keen interest in the stacks of thick Ocean Drive magazines against the wall, noting that I had, some years ago, come across the precious Independence Day issue with Nikki Taylor on the cover, had it framed and placed on the wall of my old office in Manhattan, but alas, I said, I left the company and it is now lost, I have not seen a copy of the magazine since. Of course I was hoping that Ana would offer me a copy of the recent addition. With that issue in hand, the virtues of Artecity would have no doubt been reinforced.
Best regards,
David Arthur Walters
305-742-8462
cc: Alesandro Ferretti
cc: Ana Austin
bravenet.com